AIRPLANES! Climb aboard and get to your destination on the fastest commercially available method of transport today. enjoy luxuries such as recycled air, freeze-dried noxious-smelling meals, 10 minutes of good window views and hours of horrible ones (if you're in the 20% who actually get a window seat, that is), bathrooms used by many airsick passengers (sick with fun, amirite?), an joint cramps that are literally out of this world. You will be treated as a V.I.P (very irritating passenger, that is) by a sleep-deprived flight crew. Don't forget to take advantage of our half-functional entertainment systems or listen to the sounds of babies crying and people snoring that surround you, all for the low low price of, well, a lot. Call 1-800-TAKE-A-BOAT today!
Seriously, I hate planes. Whatever, at least they land at one point, and getting out is the best feeling ever.
I can barely type on this weird new keyboard, so I'll stop now.
Let me end the post with one of the sad jokes my friend sent me to distract me from my flight dread.
a: what's the difference between a tuna, a piano, and a pot of glue?
a: you can tuna piano, but you can't piano a tuna
b: LOL. But what about the glue?
a:I knew you'd get stuck there